Sunday, August 06, 2006

Humour


You know the days when you are at work and you kinda feel like what are you doing here.I was just bored at work one day and looked out of the window and the scene reminded me of Lagos a lil bit,so I took the picture.


I got this jokes from one of my friends and could not stop laffing and decided to share it with the bloggers and see if they will humour you guys as well.



You might be a Naija Child of the 80's if:

The opening of your school was ever "postponed indefinitely due to
circumstances beyond their control."
You remember thinking that the 1 dollar to 4 Naira exchange rate was TOO
high.
You didn't know that the name GRINGORY was actually the Naija
(mis)pronunciation of GREGORY.
You remember collecting comic inserts from "bazooka joe" bubble gum.
You know what to respond when someone says "Story, Story" ... "once upon a
time"
You thought deodorant was just another perfume you could choose to use, or
not, depending on your mood.
You know all the words to the song "Sweet Mother".
You never thought that the "Ghana go home" crusade was proof that Naija
would always be better off than its neighbors.
For the ladies, you've actually read over 40 Mills & Boons or Harlequin
Romance novels and didn't notice any similarities.
You know who Barbara Soki is.
You still use "blue" when washing your white clothes.


You know you've been here (in the United States) too long when you say:

"Truck" instead of "Lorry"
"SUV" instead of "Jeep"
"Wuz up" instead of "How far now"
"Hood" instead of "Bonnet"
"Trunk" instead of "Boot"
"Stop making fun of me" instead of "Stop yabbing me" or "Stop abusing me"
"Gas station" instead of "Petrol Station"
"Fries" instead of "Chips"
"Big Mac, Chicken McGrill, * Pounder" instead of just plain "Burger"
"Crispy" instead of "Cripsy"
"Fireworks/Firecrackers" instead of "Banga"
"Soda/Pop" instead of "Minerals"
"Laundry Detergent" instead of "OMO"
"Dryer" instead of "Hang it in the sun"
"Service" instead of "Sa veece" (e silent)
"Cinder Block" instead of "Bricks"
"Concrete" instead of "Cement"
"Peugeot" instead of "Pe-geot"
"Trash Can" instead of "Dozbin"
"Shower" instead of "Bath"
"Power is out" instead of " NEPA has taken light"
"Traffic Light" instead of "Yellow Fever"
"Cab" instead of "Taxi"
"Security Guard" instead of "Gateman"
"Cafeteria" instead of "Canteen"
"Cookie" instead of "Biscuit" (Cabin)
"Pants" instead of "trouser/trousee"
"underwear" instead of "pant"
"VCR" instead of "Video"
"Movie" instead of "Film"
"Extensions" instead of "Attachment" (Hair)
"Lotion" instead of "Cream"
"Cornrows" instead of "weave"
"Weave" instead of "Weave-on"
"Suitcase" instead of "Box"
"High school" instead of "Secondary School"
"Grade school" instead of "Primary school"
"Wifebeater" instead of "singlet"
"Sneakers" instead of "Canvas"
"Soccer" instead of "Football"
"Motorcycle" instead of "meshin",
College" instead of "yunivasiti"
"Car" instead of "moto"
"Flipflops" instead of "silpas"
"Nail polish" instead of "Cotex"
"Braids" instead of "Bob Mali"
"gum" instead of "chin-gum"
"smoke" instead of "tab"
"Shower" instead of "Baaf"
"Hallway" instead of "Corridoor"
"Living/Sitting Room" instead of "Paalor
"Balcony" instead of "Varanda"
"Ballpoint" instead of "Buyro" or "Beek"
"VW Bug" instead of "Bittle"
"Arithmetic" instead of "Mats"
"Abroad" instead of "Oversis"
"Menthol" instead of "Veeks"
"Boss" instead of "Oga"
"Manners" instead of "Home training"
"Circle" instead of "roundabout"
"Apartment building" instead of "blok of flats"
"Flashlight" instead of "touch"
"Hoe ( not the digging instrument )" instead of "Ashawo"
"Knock knees" instead of "k leg"
"Eye infection" instead of "Appolo" ... cureable only by flushing eyes out
with sugar water


A politician in Nigeria was being interviewed many years ago.
Interviewer: "Nigeria doesn't have many minerals, does it?"
Politician: "Of course we do! We have coke, sprite, 7-up...."


Hope you guys had a nice weekend.

29 Comments:

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 2:30:00 PM, Blogger Mari said...

I stared at that picture for a whole minute and almost swore that was Lagos. The first time I visited Houston, I kept saying why does this place remind me of Lagos even with all the white people around. Then forget the expression I had on my face when I was taken to Bissonet (sp?), NAIJA mehn! LMAO

I love visiting Houston but I cant live there.

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 3:53:00 AM, Blogger temmy said...

See, i read this at work and u made me laugh like crazy. I showed it to some of my coleagues that have been in the UK for more than 10 years. They have been going gaga.If we all get sacked today for laughing you are in trouble.

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 11:13:00 AM, Blogger Aba Boy said...

Nice one. I am a Nigerian kid\teen of the 80s. And I still buy bazooka joe gums here in London

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 1:42:00 PM, Blogger Belle said...

dang i need to visit home...

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 3:17:00 PM, Blogger DiAmOnD hawk said...

lol @ cripsy....and canteen
i was talking to a friend and he was like your 'staff canteen'...i was like WHAT IS THAT? please o...it's the cafe...lol...but it was funny to hear that

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 3:53:00 PM, Blogger Onada said...

LOL. that brought back memories.
the photo you posted is actually very reminiscent of naija!

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 4:23:00 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@Mari ..I guess u stayed on the southside of houston and was not given a tour of houston.I stay on the Northside of Houston,which is like an hour's drive from the southside,so it depends on the side of houston that u actually visit.The Bissonet that u went to is more like Naija street.

@Temmy ..abeg I never get company wey I fit hire into o.

@Aba boy ..men thatz one thing that u guys r enjoying in london.Where u wan see bazooka joe for this place.Can u imagine the last time I came to london how much junk ppl here were requesting for and they were ready to mob me if I no buy am come.I actually spent like 50pounds on junks like Digestive,Hobnobs,smarties etc.Money wey I suppose add small change to hook up another Loafers.

@belle ..pele I feel u,but just try go london and bam u r in naija.

@diamond .. yes o,thatz the same thing one guy did when he first got here o.He went to the store and said he
wanted to buy a "facecap" instead of a "baseball cap"

@Onada ..thatz what actually prompted me to take the pic..

 
At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 6:46:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe its Peejow instead of peaugot! hahaha

 
At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 10:59:00 AM, Anonymous naijagal said...

omg so funny naijabloke:0) i am definitely a child of the 80s i can relate!

 
At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:50:00 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@anonymous .. nah thatz the funkilized way,u normally pronouse it Peejot.
@naijagal -- so u r a "Tales by Moonlight" kid then.

 
At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 10:01:00 PM, Anonymous JJ said...

I'm staring real hard at that picture...is that 610 or maybe 59N? I feel you on bissonnet being naija street, it's not even funny when i first moved here it took all off me not to buy the next ticket out but i'm used to it now.

 
At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 10:03:00 PM, Anonymous JJ said...

I guess i'm an 80's kid afterall except i don't use blue to wash my clothes any longer.

 
At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 11:24:00 PM, Blogger beautyinbaltimore said...

TRy Fells Point and Power Plant(Market Place). I think you will enjoy yourself in either place.

 
At Wednesday, August 09, 2006 12:11:00 PM, Anonymous Mide said...

picture seemed just like naija and trully brought back memories...good ones.

Cracked up with the Naija/American pronounciations

 
At Wednesday, August 09, 2006 4:39:00 PM, Blogger Miguel said...

lol...Lorry! kai! Naiajbloke u go kill me oooo

 
At Wednesday, August 09, 2006 6:53:00 PM, Blogger Monef said...

LMAO!!!!
Cotex...hahahahaha
I must have worked really hard to suppress half this shit!

 
At Thursday, August 10, 2006 8:16:00 AM, Blogger christabelle said...

can u imagine I was cracking my head trying to figure out where this is in Lagos untill I read the post.LOL!!

U sure made me laugh, typical Naija slangs there.

Hey do u actually believe that jab about the politician and his minerals, huh?

 
At Thursday, August 10, 2006 10:51:00 AM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@JJ ..Nah this is 290 .thatz the only reason I wont stay on the southside...used to stay in Kingwood.
@Beautyin Bmore ...Thx will try and check those places out.
@mide ..thx for stopping by and it looked like naija cos of the HWY and cos I took the pic from 7th floor.
@Miguel ..LOL..no worry u no go die.
@Monef..thatz the same thing one of my friends sd,but I guess u aint got a choice here.
@Christabelle ..anything is possible in that country o..do u know that the qualification to become the President of Nigeria is only High School cert?

 
At Thursday, August 10, 2006 11:16:00 AM, Blogger Tola said...

WOW..THATS ACTUALLY IN THE STATES..I REALLY TOT IT WAS NAIJA O.
ANODA FUNNY ONE IS
"ABEG DRESS SMALL"..MEANING PLS MOVE TO THE SIDE A LITTLE BIT..LOL

 
At Thursday, August 10, 2006 2:08:00 PM, Blogger The Life of a Stranger called me said...

I came across this by accident, but I am glad I did, I just kept laughing I couldn't control myself. Thank you for that.

 
At Thursday, August 10, 2006 3:31:00 PM, Blogger Daydah said...

Thanks for this! Do you believe not much as changed? And there are even new ones:
'Notin dey happen' meaning fear not, nothing bad can happen.
Its the same with "No shaking" which means "I am not afraid of anything'.
'No long tin' meaning 'Its nothing to be afraid of."
Say it is 'un-jo' as in 'it does not resemble it, or it can't be'
'Papas' means 'cool'.
'Palasa' means 'fake' e.g Its palasa jare...

 
At Thursday, August 10, 2006 8:47:00 PM, Anonymous Diamond said...

hey yall...

check out www.votac.com (Voices of the African Continent) It's been a long time coming and now it's finally here...check it out...sign up...spread the word...thanx

 
At Friday, August 11, 2006 1:24:00 PM, Blogger Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Naijabloke, my personal person in blogville. Make sure u nack us enuff tori when u come back from the wedding in MD. Don't leef anytin out o. Have a safe trip, and enjoy.

 
At Saturday, August 12, 2006 12:38:00 PM, Blogger Bent out of shape said...

Awesome post!!! I miss home. I do. This just makes me want to go home even more.

 
At Monday, August 14, 2006 4:22:00 PM, Blogger Calabar Gal said...

When I set my eyes on that picture, I actually thot it was taken in lagos during one of its famous 'hold ups'!! I am definely a child of the 80's and remember with relish collecting the inserts from bazooka joe. we even use to exchange the extras we had with our mates in primary school!! Babara Soki was definely a star then. followed her progress from 'Inside out' to 'mirror in the sun' she's vintage though outclassed by newer actresses. I remember my dad used to complain about the pound being exchanged at 1:6naira and wonder what he would say if he was alive to see the exchange rate today. Didnt realise gringory was the naija interpretation of gregory. Mills and boons and harlequin novels took all my pocket money and we had the notion that men were to be slapped if they indented ur honour like the ladies in those novels did with relish. (smile) Of course u cant try that with a naija man today and go scott free!! (smile) I really enjoyed ur write up naijabloke. It had me in stitches also. Thanks for taking us back to the good old days. I ticked right on all the points u raised about being an 80's child but must point out that I wouldnt exchange it for all the candy in the world!!!

 
At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:32:00 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@Tola ..I know,but it is not naija o.

@the life of a stranger..thx for stopping by.
@Daydah ..abeg I never hear some of the ones u wrote o,so am guessing ur from warri or stayed there.
@bent ..men I fell u o.same here jere.
@Calabar gal..nice to know u enjoyed the post.Nne how come u dont have a blog?

 
At Tuesday, August 22, 2006 11:31:00 AM, Blogger Ms. May said...

LOL....mad funny. I've had to fly to Houston on business and no kidding I really am reminded of Naija when I'm there....the bumpy highways, crazy drivers and of course, Nigerians galore. So I believe that picture.

 
At Tuesday, August 29, 2006 2:51:00 PM, Blogger Just Thinking Out Loud! said...

lol! sad to say, as long as I have been here, I still use many of those nyja words. Too Nyja for my own good! Nice ones. Can't wait to be home this December. Enjoy!

 
At Wednesday, September 06, 2006 3:02:00 PM, Blogger Calabar Gal said...

Naija Bloke, I used to have a blog oh! Difficulty in posting my blogs made me click on everthing on my 'edit posts' page and somehow I suspect I may have deleted the entire blog mistakenly!!
No be laffing matter oh!! If anyone can offer a sista advice on how to get my blog back, would be massively appreciated. I have tried all I can but it keeps on showing me a blank page!! All my previous posts have dissapeard & new ones are not being shown either!! Tried to publish entire blog unsuccessfully. Abi na remote control? (smile)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home