Monday, September 18, 2006

A lil' Some Some To Make Your Day.

Still a little tied up with Work o.Most times I will seat to write something up and my brain will just shut down.Been busy at work as well that I can only read blogs and reply to some.
I actually have some topics I want to talk about,will try and put something up before the weekend.

Belle don't worry i will put up the story you requested on Miguel's blog.


A PASTOR AND POLICE IN NIGERIA

A Pastor was driving on the expressway when he met a team of MobilePolicemen (otherwise known as MOPOL), who quite naturally, wanted 'something'from him.

Since he was not prepared to play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now asked him to open the bonnet of his car.

A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that the letter 'U' was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter 'V'.

That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle" !

Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offense, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied:

"Please, leave that pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car abi?, bring it."

The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25, 26 to me".

The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read:

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

Haba!!! Na wa o!!!!



Bet you are all reaching for your bibles. Pretty comprehensive book, I must say.

Study it everyday please



Confessions of an Ijaw Kid

Little Diepriye came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Priye was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Priye's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Priye, of course, thought he did.

Priye's mother wanted Priye to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Priye, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Priye by stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Priye

Priye knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Priye. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Priye

Priye knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Priye

Priye knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Priye wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Priye

Priye by now knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.



Now, Priye was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Priye's mother thought her plan had worked, as Priye walked by, he looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Priye's mother told him.


Priye walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Priye went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Priye bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Priye began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!!!!!
The hit man.
Diepriye

Can u beat dat ???!!!



How to tell one African from another:

It comes as something of a surprise to many Africans
to discover that all Africans look the same to
non-Africans.

How do you tell a Nigerian from a Kenyan, for example;
and I am not talking about passports or clothing? Well
the easiest way, of course, is the name: For example
Ogunkoye can only be a Nigerian and Njoroge from
Kenya.

And so where do the Dunns come from? They are
certainly from Liberia or Sierra Leone. Surely,
everybody knows that the loud and cocky ones are the
West Africans; the brooding and sly ones are the North
and South Africans
respectively; the East Africans always say yes, even
when they disagree with you violently.

To be more specific, the Cameronians will borrow money
from you to buy Champagne; whilst the Ghanaians think
they invented politics.

The Congolese think they have the best music and the
best dancers; the Nigerians have a ! thing about
clothes; and the Ethiopians believe they have the most
beautiful women on God's earth.

Moroccans actually think they're French, and so do the
Burkinabes. Algerians just hate the French.

Sierra Leonians simply smile profusely; and Liberians
can't get over America. All East and South African
countries have the same national anthem, but the South
Africans sing it the best.

The South Africans have no hair; the Zambians and
Kenyans have prominent foreheads; the West Africans
have short memories and never learn from their
mistakes; the concept of order and discipline must
have been invented in East Africa; the words don't
exist in West Africa, especially in Nigeria.

When a cabinet minister is "caught with his hands in
the till," he commits suicide in Southern Africa; in
West Africa he's promoted after the next coup d'etat.

In athletics, the divisions are quite simple: from
800m to the marathon the East Africans hold sway; the
West Africans are only good at the sprints; and South
Africans can only sing.

But when it comes to football (soccer), the North and
West Africans dominate the lesser-skilled East and
South Africans.

13 Comments:

At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 1:50:00 AM, Blogger Lee said...

hahaha.. lil Priye is testing God oh.. nice one Naija Bloke..

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 5:21:00 AM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

LOL @ Priye!

As for the bible verses... wow! If someone had given me a multiple choice question of words in the Bible, I definitely won't have picked that!

NB, I am looking forward to the story... I read the comment and I am curious.

Have a great week.

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 8:26:00 AM, Blogger The Life of a Stranger called me said...

LoL Priye. It wasn't what I was expecting, did Priye think he can't get his bike that way??

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 9:24:00 AM, Blogger Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao... priye is just a joker for real..

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 11:01:00 AM, Blogger Miguel said...

Naijabloke na wa oooo ...man na floor i dey oooo..priye no go kill me!

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 2:03:00 PM, Blogger Mari said...

Oh shit...NB i need to stop reading your blog at work, for real mehn. Thank God I am the only one in the office coz I dont know what would have happened if anyone was here.
Where do you get these jokes from???

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 3:24:00 PM, Blogger Belle said...

hmmm... i've got to agree with the breakdown of how to tell one African from another! lol

Oya ijebu-wanna be- please post the gist quik quik!

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 4:43:00 PM, Blogger Nneka's World said...

Nice one!!!!

Anyway how far with you, hope you dey

 
At Tuesday, September 19, 2006 10:19:00 PM, Blogger Onada said...

where do you get all this stuff from? tis it hilarious lol!!

 
At Wednesday, September 20, 2006 1:33:00 AM, Blogger Biodun said...

HA HA, this was funny, yes naijas r loud please, that includes me too, lol. I feel u on been busy, that is the story of my life these days

 
At Wednesday, September 20, 2006 7:57:00 AM, Blogger Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

See how people twist scriptures to suit them. Priye don turn to kidnapper. Chei! Desperate situations require desperate measures, i don't blame Priye he just NEEDS a bike. I have to agree, Ethiopian ladies are tres pretty. Still absolutely hilarious.

 
At Wednesday, September 20, 2006 11:36:00 AM, Blogger zaiprincesa said...

..just saw this..abeg make una no blasphem oh!..its funny sha! P.s,
lol @ "the concept of order and discipline must
have been invented in East Africa; the words don't
exist in West Africa, especially in Nigeria." Thats messed up oh!

 
At Wednesday, September 20, 2006 4:48:00 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@Lee .. Don't mess with Hitman Priye o.
@Buki & Belle .. u Ijebu ppl too like gist sef
@LOASCM ..I guess Priye done watch enuff movies.
@Over Naija Babe .. abi now
@Miguel .. Take am easy o..
@Mari & Onada...one warri boy told us the joke when I was in NYSC camp back then o.I was just looking thru my phots and saw the NYSC pics and was reminiscing jere.
@Nneka ..am aiight o and where have u been too?
@Biodun .. seems am on overload here o @ work ..LOL@ been loud
@Xoxo ..Na so now and I agree with u,ethopian chics r drop dead.
@Zaiprincesa ..Na today ..that one no be news o.. shoo

 

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