Wednesday, October 04, 2006

GistIII

I did not know people like gist this much o,mehn everytime I read a comment on the last post I just smile and you guys comments always make my day a lil' bit enjoyable at work.I actually tried to put up this post lastnite and the damn thing disappeared after I had typed like 20 lines,I was so pissed that I just went to bed.

I do apologise for keeping you guys in limbo.Work is kicking my butt coupled with reading for some exams that am trying to take,but I know all is well in Jesus name.

Anyway lemme continue with the gist that started the riot on my comment page.LOL

I got back to KA's house and AF was already there and KA actually thought she was there to see me,cos TA was not home all the while.KA still at this point does not know what is happening,so I sat down with everybody to watch the movie that everybody was watching and she just kept looking at me.(She later told me she was trying to read the expressions on my face).

KA decided we should go and eat out,cos I told him i was kinda feeling hungry.There is this joint in Ibadan called "Iya Ope",mehn the woman sells the meanest rice and stew I have ever had.So KA and his Girlfriend got in my car and I was about to start the car when KA grabbed the car keys from me and ask where AF is.I told him I will explain everything to him on our way,cos I know KA could be a lil' crazy atimes.Well KA refused to go anywhere till I told him everything from when I first dropped her off.KA was so angry that he caused a scene and wanted to chase her out of the house,but I had to restrain KA.AF was so embarassed cos KA was asking her about everything right in front of everybody in their house that day.

Like I said in my last post,AF thought I had already told everybody about the whole thing,so that was why she decided to come down there.She actually thought since it is definately going to be over between us,she might as well hang with TA,cos there were some benefits from dating TA(Sugar Daddy).What AF did not know is that I actually broke-up with her that same day I dropped her with her friend off back in June and was just getting some all the while till it lasts.

Anyway I avoided AFs calls for likr 3months cos I know she was scared of talking to me face to face.When we finally got to see each other and talk,AF told me she was so confused and scared of me for not saying anything from the time I dropped her off at the house in June till December and I told her that I decided not to say anything and go along with the ride because she was bold enough to actually ask me to drop her off at her Sugar Daddy's house.

AF still believe that I have not forgiven her till today,but I always tell her I forgave her that same day that I dropped her off at the house.AF is in london now and we talk once in a while.AF is a great girl and beautiful as well,infact this is her picture .

This incident actually made not to trust girls for a long time and the rest of my college days was spent as a full time hit and run man,but I guess I later grew out of it.


A lil' Humour to make you smile

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. (Don't ask why or how, it just happens...)

God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Proverbs From the First Grade...

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here's what the kids came up with:

1. Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
2. Strike while the... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
4. Never underestimate the power of... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
7. No news is... impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust... me.
12. The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
13. An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
14. Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.
15. Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is... not much.
17. Two is company, three's... The Musketeers.
18. None are so blind as... Helen Keller.
19. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
20. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
21. You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
22. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.
23. There is no fool like... Aunt Edie.
24. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose.

Check out my Home Office



Am off to bed now and actually had to struggle to finish typing this post.

22 Comments:

At Thursday, October 05, 2006 3:12:00 AM, Blogger Calabar Gal said...

LMAO!!! OMG!! Naija Bloke - Ur home office is so cute!!!! Talk about killing two birds......

LMAO about the kiddies proverbs. U know the sweetest words comeoutof their innocent lips when they're so young and then they grow up and become teenage horrors........

Wayo!!! We want to see the real AF's Pic!! Then U'll know what they say about a woman scorned.....

Lovely Post!

 
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 5:16:00 AM, Blogger Calabar Gal said...

Hiya Naija Bloke!!
Here's the receipe for AFANG SOUP.

INGREDIENTS:
a) Afang - known as UKAZI in Igbo finely chopped and blended or pounded to a smooth pulp.
b) Waterleaf -finely cut and boiled spinach is a good substitute for those in diaspora.
c) Spices - Pepper, salt, Knorr/Maggi cubes, Blended Crayfish etc
d) Obstructions - Meat, dry fish, cowleg, snails, cowleg, shaki etc
e) Meat Stock
f) Palm Oil


RECEIPE:
Bring the chopped waterleaf or spinach to a boil using stock from ur meat, add to the boiling spinach ur spices to taste, 2 or 3 spoons of blended crayfish also. Mix thoroughly to allow the spices blend in.

2) Time to add ur dry fish, and then the varied & much desired obstructions.

3) Bring to a boil then add ur palm oil. Let it simmer.

4. Add ur Afang last and stir. Leave for 5-10 mins to allow the Afang cook properly and VOILA!!


Its all READY TO EAT!!

 
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 7:23:00 AM, Anonymous Dipo Tepede said...

Wow, this blog has made my day..

Your twist on the pics was genius!

U must really be a smart guy....

 
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 8:58:00 AM, Blogger ABBEY said...

naijabloke ur just too crazy lol...but really thats what offices are going to be evolving into in the coming yrs.

Guys can't trust women, women can't trust guys so aren't relationships just a bunch of lies and pretended trust then?

 
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:10:00 AM, Blogger Smoothvibes said...

Lol.. Finally! Kids do say the darnest things!

Take it easy @ work oh... and all the best on the exams

 
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:58:00 AM, Blogger The Life of a Stranger called me said...

But NB - this your gist - you didn't tell it properly. I had to keep going back to gist I and II to fully underatnd the story. All this partI, II and III nearly lost me.
But seriously though, what does a fine girl need a sugar daddy for - and was so bold to admit what she was doing and not a care in the world. You must be a seriously ok guy, for her to deal like that and you still have good opinion of her. I rarely find a man that has a good opinion of a young woman (if he wasn't a believer), let alone for someone with such boldness. Anyways, sorry for not trusting women but Im sure that phase have been and gone and you have now positioned yourself in trusting one.

On the topic of your jokes, they get me all the time. Try and have some rest from all the revision and work - a few hrs break ding nothing will do you some good.

 
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:46:00 PM, Blogger Teva said...

Yeye man, na halle berry be ur AF??? LOL. Cool stuff man! Thanks for finally releasing us from the suspending HOLD with the release of GIST part three staring Halle berry as AF and Fred Amata as 'Naija bloke'

where do you always get these funnny crack up pictures from...LOL. Always refreshing

 
At Friday, October 06, 2006 6:29:00 AM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

Halle? In your wildest dreams. LOL @ the heaven joke! Hilarious!!!

Pele oh NB but it's such a change to hear about a guy who's gone through something like this. Pele dear.

Padi mi, Have a Fantastic Weekend.

 
At Friday, October 06, 2006 10:24:00 AM, Blogger temmy said...

Why wont she cheat on you if she is as fine as my own Halle. Thief. Me love your office o, saves you from hopping around.

The part 3 came too late now bros,but anyways if u ask ex girly she will have a reason for following sugar daddy o.

Have a lovely weekend bro.

 
At Friday, October 06, 2006 12:15:00 PM, Blogger Biodun said...

NaijaBloke, ku ise o (well done) so 3 weeks to get gist abi, glad to know u have changed ur hit-n-run habits o, loving the home office, lol! Have a blessed weekend n God's speed with the exams!

 
At Friday, October 06, 2006 1:24:00 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

klo@ALL ..I know all y'all would click on the link to see AF's pic now ... chie see all the Ameboss ..LOL
@calabar girl . wayo!! andthx for the recipe .. buts whats up with all the Obstructions ..omo na only meat we go chop for inside the soup ni?
@Dipo thanks for dropping by.
@Abbey ..like the saying goes ..not all the oranges r bad,some good ones still have their place amongst the bad ones.

@smoothvibes ..thx jere ..I will

@Life of a stranger .. no vex jere I had to just finish the story,cos I have been getting some threats abt not finishing the story ni o and I guess u did not school in naija,cos u will know what a fine gurl needs a sugar daddy for ..LOL

@Teva .. yes o thatz ma baby mama right there ..LOL abt the Jokes ..don't u see me on BET comic view once in a while ni?LOL

@Buki .. guys actually go thru the same thing u guys go thru,but the difference is that most guys don't talk abt it or dont give u the details abt it cos of our male ego.Most guys will not tell u why they broke up with a GF unless u guys r close,but a woman will go all out to tarnish the guys image abt cheating cos u guys cant hold it like we always do.
@Temmy u sef get mouf to talk here abi ..LOL

@Biodun .no vex jere moi dear,na coporate America wahala and personal life stuff join jere and abt the hit and run moves,u actually get tired of it after sometime jere.Thatz why when u see a guy running around after everything in skirt,u might find out that he probably lost out in his teenage and early adult years and is just trying to make up for it.Thx for prayer and I say Amen to it.

 
At Friday, October 06, 2006 1:37:00 PM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

I totally agree with your comment.

 
At Friday, October 06, 2006 8:45:00 PM, Blogger Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

NB, "hit and run" abi? You bobos sef? Anyways thank God u've put those childish ways behind. U be correct wayo man. The aproko in me, clicked on the pix sharp sharp, just for me to see sexy Halle. Shey u're opening ur eyes well well to the Sisi Eko that are around ur area, make una no miss ur Princess charming.

 
At Saturday, October 07, 2006 1:10:00 AM, Blogger Onada said...

LOL @ the home office
"A miss is as good as a mister" i used to say that when i was younger!!! lol dude you have me cracking up!

 
At Saturday, October 07, 2006 8:36:00 AM, Blogger TP said...

Thank God you finally completed the gist after leaving us in suspense for so long. I agree with you that guys tend to hold in their feelings when they are hurt. And if you ask them, they will just brush it aside like it doesn't matter. It's good to see a guy that can open up more.

LOL at the kids' twist on traditional proverbs and your new office...
All the best with your exams o.

 
At Saturday, October 07, 2006 9:21:00 PM, Blogger Lee said...

Lol@ your office..I cant see a printer oh.. and a secretary's place.. lol
Hey I found the Vagina articles.. infact you should just go to China and learn more about it..hahahaha

 
At Monday, October 09, 2006 4:18:00 AM, Blogger Vickii said...

lol at the joke about heaven and men being dominated by their women ... had me giggling at my desk!

Great blog and I love the gist you've been entertaining us with. LOl at all of you with interesting lives!

 
At Monday, October 09, 2006 11:40:00 PM, Blogger Belle said...

WOW@ the gist...

NB, you are too funny for that picture..lolol

 
At Tuesday, October 10, 2006 9:47:00 AM, Blogger Discombobulated Diva said...

i got so caught up in the gist that i had to go back and re-read the first part of the gist...
sorry things worked out that way... at least you found out sooner than later... btw, nice blog
~DD

 
At Friday, October 13, 2006 12:48:00 AM, Blogger Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

THank heavens for the final installment of this eagerly awaited gist... lmao... naija bloke you are just not well @ all.. i actually clicked on the picture like is this dude serious to post his ex-babes picture up on the internet? a babe who was also part-timing her sugar daddy.. only to find out... that YOU HAVE DATED HALLE BERRY... how u manage the thin now? U try sha... lol... one thin i'll say for the babe is she has liver sha.. to make you drop her off @ her sugardaddys...

lmao@my wife told me to stand there.. hehe.. smart man

lmao@there is no fool like aunt edie.. hehe.. the poor woman don suffer. this list was beyond hilarious..

 
At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 12:08:00 PM, Blogger adefunke said...

does the chair swivel?

 
At Saturday, November 25, 2006 10:58:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

doing the same with my chic now am callin her a undercover hoe little dick riding in the hood bitch get ur edumacation caz bitches aint shit but hoes n trickes make em lick on the nutts n suck da dick i like t domainate 2 ill blog

 

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