Friday, April 13, 2007


Am sorry guys that I have not updated in a while,it's just been a lil' busy for ur guy down here o.Work is really kicking my butt that when I have a me time like this,na like public holiday in naija o.All I just want to do is just lay on the bed sipping on some some,watching movies and staring at my laptop from a distance.

Guys you need to listen to the 1st song I have playing on here titled "Naija Girls",dude is funny with the lyrics.Am still trying to find out who sang the song o.The second song is titled Bete Bete by Raghav...The guy is I heard the guy was big in Europe in 2005..The songs are part of a mix CD I got on my last trip to Naija.

Anyway back to the title of my post today,I called "Iya Ibeji" (thatz what I call my mum whenever am trying to report any of my siblings to her) and asked her what she got planned for my dad's remembrance which is coming up and she said all she needs us to do is fast and thank God for his favors,mercies and grace over the years.I lost my dad when I was 12yrs old and it was pretty tough when it happened cos I was very close to my dad although I got a heap load of whoopings on top the paddy paddy with the man.

I remembered when I was in primary school and I was feeling like a "G".Normally when all those uncles,aunties and family friends come and they give us money then,my mum bought us a piggy bang to save the money in.So there was this time during one of the holidays that I devised a way to get money out of the piggy bank with a stick of broom cos normally you have to break the thing to be able to get the money out.So yours truly got 5Naira out of the piggy bank and declared for my homies on my street o,enuff smarties,trebor,fan ice ,kulikuli,puff puff ati bebe lo.Well na so ur guy become bobo nice to all the homies and chikitas on my street that day o and ur guy was really feeling cool until katakata burst when my mum came back from work and the first news she heard for the day from my jealous sisters was how urs truly was doing baba alaye for all the homies in the area with money I got from my piggy bank.

The normal protocol then was when you did something wrong,my mum will talk to you about it and feed you in readiness for my dad.When he comes back from work,he first of all eat and its like you are been subjected to a torture,cos he will take his time to eat and rest well and all the while you are in your room waiting to hear him shout your name from the living room.Well on this particular day my dad called me into the living room to decide my fate.So the judgement normally start with you explaining why you did what you did and you will be the one to give judgement on yourself as well by deciding if what you did warrants a whooping.Mehn reflecting back on those days atimes makes me wonder what was going on in my dad's head,why he would make you explain why you did what you did and to decide if you deserve a whooping and woe betide you if you pass any wrong judgement.Well the night ended up with my dad chasing me all over the living room trying to corner me and I was feeling like James Bond diving over couches and tables until finally I got tired.Hmmmmm.... those were the days ...I guess thatz part of what made a lot of us what we are today.

Gosh I need to go to bed o .it is 11.40pm here ......

I got this from my brother just today and it actually reminded me of one of my smart mouthed cousin.


BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.
The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at
the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Am sleeping off already ...Have a nice week guys!



At Tuesday, April 17, 2007 12:46:00 AM, Blogger bibi said...

am i first!!!

lmaooo at piggy u go decide wether u deserve whoopings..ur dads a trip

At Tuesday, April 17, 2007 12:47:00 AM, Blogger bibi said...

am 1st sha..and

At Tuesday, April 17, 2007 3:59:00 AM, Blogger Nigerican said...

at least u're mom didn't spend the money and then tell u she used it to buy the meat u ate in u're food yesterday.
- i've got one of those smart jokes too
-" the last time i saw something that looked like u, i flushed it"
ok mybe 2
- "i'd call u short to u're face, but i can't stoop that low"
ok, ok last one
- man- hey, i think i've seen u b4
woman- maybe in u're dreams and in my nightmares.
I hope u enjoyed those .ciao

At Tuesday, April 17, 2007 4:20:00 AM, Blogger Ugo Daniels said...

nice one dude, cheers

At Tuesday, April 17, 2007 9:00:00 AM, Blogger temmy tayo said...

Chei, this is lovely. I love the part of u make me sick. lol

At Tuesday, April 17, 2007 7:26:00 PM, Blogger DiAmOnD hawk said...

i dont like this song... please change it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and can u take ur thing of's quite annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!


At Tuesday, April 17, 2007 7:27:00 PM, Blogger DiAmOnD hawk said...

it's disturbing the flow of the music on my blog.... so please me a darling...

At Wednesday, April 18, 2007 2:33:00 AM, Blogger Klara said...

Thanx these really helped it's so cold down here n this has helped brighten me up!
Great Laffs!!

At Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:05:00 AM, Blogger Lee said...

LMAOOOOO@ the song playing about Naija gurls..

OK oh.. you guys are reminiscing about your childhood days..kai.. anytime I look back at all the crazy things we did, I just smile..Right, thats what made us what we are today..

At Wednesday, April 18, 2007 7:10:00 AM, Blogger dolly said...

Nice post

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

At Wednesday, April 18, 2007 9:34:00 AM, Blogger Desola said...

Hello Me darling?

At Wednesday, April 18, 2007 8:09:00 PM, Blogger Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

U always deliver, never to dissappoint. The jokes are so on point. The kid that failed, and was going to send a telegram had me in stitches. Have a blessed week too.

At Thursday, April 19, 2007 1:39:00 PM, Blogger Teva said...

NB...which girl u don use all them llines for, cuz i can smell your handy work all over it...
How u dey man???
Bored and reading...imagine!

At Thursday, April 19, 2007 2:09:00 PM, Blogger kulutempa said...

these your songs are hilarious! but men, this thesis is really showing me pepper o...that's why i had to take break and write about turds :). lol..wey i should write have jokes

hope your week is going well! e.z.

At Friday, April 20, 2007 12:46:00 AM, Blogger Deji's World said...

lol..your popsy reminds me of my popsy sha. Your mother is cool tho. In my case, i go first chop minor ass whoop from momsy, then she go report me to popsy and popsy too go take im time decide my fate..gotta love em tho. Nice blog mehn. I'll do drive bys every now and then.

At Friday, April 20, 2007 3:48:00 AM, Blogger dairy of a G said...


At Friday, April 20, 2007 8:03:00 AM, Blogger omohemi Benson said...

Going down memory lane, is a beautiful thing.
Well done with your work o! God give you strength.

lol@the questions.

At Friday, April 20, 2007 11:06:00 AM, Blogger omohemi Benson said...

please send me your email addy.

At Sunday, April 22, 2007 1:38:00 AM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

Parents sha!

NB, you were a crook at a young age, how did you figure out how to use a broomstick to get the monye out? OLE!!!

At Monday, April 23, 2007 11:31:00 AM, Blogger snazzy said...

since nobody told you who actually sang the song, i thought I'd drop a line. The song is called "nigerian girls" and it is by mode 9, he's the new hip hop thing. He's pretty good. Diamond is not allowed to give anybody shit about autoplay seeing as she is the queen of autoplay. Laters.

At Monday, April 23, 2007 11:48:00 AM, Blogger snazzy said...

actually this is a diff track and it is not by mode 9. no idea who sang this one. not bad though

At Monday, April 23, 2007 11:41:00 PM, Blogger pink gloves said...

tehehe, when was this that 5 Naira could buy you all that stuff? Nice blog BTW.

At Tuesday, April 24, 2007 5:42:00 AM, Blogger law_damsel said...

ive often asked u where u get those jokes fron huh?? loll, nicee,i like!

i cant hear d music oh.. they ve muted d pc's at work i think..

make sure u fast 4 d remebrance oh

At Wednesday, April 25, 2007 2:18:00 AM, Blogger Beyond said...

nice post.

At Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:17:00 PM, Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

Update already!!!

At Saturday, April 28, 2007 11:17:00 AM, Blogger Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...


At Monday, April 30, 2007 4:14:00 AM, Blogger omohemi Benson said...

I know you are busy but please update.

At Wednesday, September 19, 2007 7:49:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Naijabloke, who are you?


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