Monday, October 30, 2006

Na Wah For Us O

Hey ma peeps,I have been AWOL for a minute.Studying and work has been kinda crazy for like the past 3-4weeks,but I thank God for his grace and mercies.

Was in Chicago over the past weekend and it was fun,got to see a couple of friends that I have not seen in a while and ended up at Zambia;s independence party on Saturday.Got to talk to a couple of guys from Zambia,Kenya,Botswana and Zimbabwe and found out a lot about how they feel about Naija guys.Do you know a big part of guys from other parts of Africa actually despise Naija guys.Well from talking to some of them I found out that their contemptuous feeling towards Naija guys is from Naija guys dating anything that runs around in skirts and that most of the other African countries can't really get to date Naija chics.

U might look at it like so what has that got to do with loathing Naija guys o,cos that was the same question I ask them as well.After arguing with a couple of them,I found out that it actually has to do with Naija guys confidence in been able to talk to and date any African chic while most Naija chics look at some other African brothers like crazy when they try talking to them.(Give it up for Naija chics and their class and aloofness).

I was almost left there by my friend cos I was arguing with this guys about the whole issue.I tried making them realise that it's an individual thing to be able to talk to and date any chic that you want,but none of them saw reason with me o.On the contrary,I later started thinking about the whole issue and came up with a couple of questions on the issue.

Are we like that in Nigeria cos we are too exposed,educated,beautiful,handsome,too dey denge pose,culture,family values etc or that is just the way we are?

So I will like to hear your opinions about this issue,if it is right about Naija guys,Naija chics and why we are like that.

I got this text from one of my collegues today and was like WTF!!!!

"A Black baby was given wings by "god".... the baby asked "does this mean am an angel" "god" laughed and said "naw nigga u a bat" Happy halloween ....!

This was exactly how he wrote the text ... notice I the "god" is different from "God" .This wackahead is from pakistan o.. I just did not bother to reply the text.

Check out this story

Dis story is about a guy called blah blah blah-Omoburukutu. This
story had me in stitches! You gotta read it!...

I did not come to England to take pictures of Big Ben or tour
London Bridge . I just wanted to get paid and get even with those
colonials. With a name like Ogundele Kayode Omobrukutu, I could not
even buy a bus pass let alone open a bank account. This is my
story....

It took me 6 months to study the system, but I still could not
figure out my squares and circus's. I could not travel from
Leicester Circus to Oxford Square without getting lost. I was a
YMCA (Young Money Chasing African) when I joined the FRAUD(Fine
Rich Africans United in Deals).

It took me 3 months to attain my ACCA (Advanced Certificate for
Criminal Africans) and I needed an MBA (Major Bank Account) to do
my first HND (Heavy Nigerian Deal).

I arranged to meet this guy at Animal and Something, I mean
Elephant and Castle. We were suppose to meet at 10.00am. I got
there at 11.30am and he turned up at 1.30pm. He pulled up in a
Mercedes 500SL with a private number plate - 419 ADE.

He was a definite Nigerian, he had it all - leather jacket in
summer, air condition on full blast with his roof and windows down
whilst smoking cigar and choking on his smoke just to impress me.
Being a fellow Nigerian I was more than impressed.

He introduced himself as Adepujo Kunle Babatunde and asked me to
call him Ade or Babs. He spoke with a strong Nigerian accent but he
messed the whole language up by slanging - he sounded like a
Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French.

I had not been in the country for long but I could tell that Omo(my
man) was trying hard to be British. After hanging with Ade for
about 2 months I became an OBE (Opportunist Bank Employee) and
specialised in BBC (Breaking Bank Codes).

Money was flowing and I wanted more so I did my PhD (Passport
Handling Degree) and became an FBI (Fraudster Bringing Immigrants).

My status changed drastically...., I had a BMW 328is convertible
and a Porsche 911 with a private plate - 911 OMO and living in a
council flat and signing on.

I went to Moonlighting every Friday and drank champagne and danced
to music supplied by DJ Pace and Skills.

I became foolish - I remember one night I spent over a 1000 pounds
on just champagne at the club and had no money for petrol so I
walked home.

My downfall.... Greed and selfishness inevitably led to my downfall

I got involved with a CIA (Cash Investing Agent) and we did a
couple of GMTs (Good Money Transfers) but he later turned out to be
a CID (Cop in Disguise). I was under surveillance and I did not
even know.

I left the NHS (Nigerian Housing Scheme) early that morning with
about 12 different cheque books to go and do my business. They
followed me unto the high road and it was then that it hit me that
something was wrong.

I could not leave all that evidence in my car so I started chewing
my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over

They read me my rights and all that crap and in the end all I could
say was - OGA, water please!

On A Naija tip.....
This is strictly Ijaw man talk for some good laugh

A rolling stone –Na person push am
A stitch in time – dey avoid further tear tear
Birds of the same feather – Na de same mama born dem
One good turn – Na power steering be that
A friend in need- na long throat kill am
A bird in hand- Na chops be that

45 Comments:

At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 3:17:00 AM, Blogger Daddy's Girl said...

Yay, you finally updated your blog - and I get to be the first to leave a comment.
That bat joke is so wrong yet so funny. I'm still laughing ten minutes later. Good one.
I think we Nigerians are very cool people (like you said, cute, educated, enlightened, grounded), and hence very confident - and a lot of people just don't know how to take it.
A friend of mine from another African country who grew up in Nig. told me that when she went back to her country, everyone was like 'you sef, you too dey feel'. She was like, she's just very confident and that's it. She told she's very glad she picked that up from growing up in Nigeria.
Yeah, some Nigerians do take it to the extreme and can be very annoying, but on the whole we are simply fabulous. So it's no surprise that we attract hater-ation.

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 5:50:00 AM, Blogger temmy said...

Yeepa, been laughing like a donkey. Lol at the naija story. Most of the things are true tho. Whatever sha, proud to be NIgerian. Deal or no deal!

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 8:22:00 AM, Blogger Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

If there's one thing Naija folks have, it's confidence. Kai!
That London giy joke, is sad, but true. Anyways, glad u're back and looks like u killed those exams, eh? Go Naijabloke! Go Naijabloke!! Show 'em the stuff u're made of.

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 9:32:00 AM, Anonymous Angie said...

Hmmm i have a big grin on my face after reading abt the naija guys bit cos i just came from Yetty's blog were there is more than a week worth of chocolate eye candies...lol(naija guys week on her blog). If thats how other countries see naija guys then i m proud of my naija guys!!!No wonder they r scarse we (naija girls) have strong competition from other countries....lol

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 10:48:00 AM, Blogger The Life of a Stranger called me said...

A'las we hear from you - you are well and your sense of humour intact - Im sure all the studies and exams went well - and its good sometimes to have your brain tested - you know -

On the naija thing - I dont know what it is but back in the day when I was young - we (me and my girlfriends)considered it a big deal to date a nigerian - as in dating men from other african countries never really counted - I had a very good friend who after 4 years of pursuit by this batian guy finally relented - we asked her why it took so long - she said she only wished he was naija - you know - so when we go home - we go towards the same direction - and its home - not like a holiday - alot of my girlfriends are still holding out on that elusive naija men, and even the ugandans are married to those naija men -

Come to think of it - I spoke to my good friend the other and she told me how happy she was to have finally met him - a yoruba nigeria - my girl cant even speak a word of igbo let alone yoruba - and has a thick scouse accent - but he's naija and so she is desperately happy.

So what Im I going on about - I guess for my girlfriends is a sense of belonging - becasue they feel by going outside they become lost to their community - Which really is silly -

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 3:19:00 PM, Blogger Discombobulated Diva said...

Naija guys are definitely confident, if not too confident sometimes, but its part of what attracts us to them...
also, at leat for me... i use to date all types of guys, but as i got older I quickly realized that if i wanted to marry a Nigerian guy, i needed to date a Nigerian guy...

~DD

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 3:40:00 PM, Blogger Tope said...

omg...that bat joke had me laughing out loud @ work. funny thing was that i couldn't share the joke...shuu i don't want them to drag my black behind to HR....lol.... damn i really should stop reading your blog at work.

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 5:00:00 PM, Blogger Nigerican said...

About u're last comment on my page ,u r almost correct with u're predictions : ).
In regards to u're blog , i must say i've dated non Naija men and it just wasn't the same .They (non-Naija guys) never understood me the way a Naija guy does. I just hope i find a cool Naija dude to marry (like my daddy) : ).

P.s. Poor guy trying to make fast cash ,guess he literally "ate" his hard work lol.

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 5:01:00 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@Daddy's gurl ..thx for dropping by jere.. I feel u on the issue abt a lot of ppl dont know how to take it as well..

@Temmy ..yes proud to be a naija man ..Naija for life baby ..

@Xoxo .. Yes am back jere ..the Exams was tough as hell but we will see what the result bring forth ..

@Angie ..naija guys r not scarce o.. U just need to know where to find us ..

@TLOSCM ..Thx for asking abt my exam dear ..was fine i think ..the result will determine o...still reading though cos I got interviews lined up... Thx for ur views as dear ..

@Discombobulated ..mehn this ur name is killing me ... well I will say u r absolutely right abt that confidence thingy ..thx for dropping by

@Tope ..U still haven't remove this sun-shade ..LOL and where is the one u promised me?Where have been anyway ..Hope u r aiight?

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 5:03:00 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@Nigerican .. LOL@ almost correct ...so it is true abi?Dont worry just let me know when u r ready jere dear..LOL

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 6:06:00 PM, Anonymous azuka said...

Aha. You sure say no be the same mama born you, Overwhelmed and Biodun?

I loved this part best:

he sounded like a Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French

And yes, those Izon guys. Hehe.

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 8:36:00 PM, Blogger Mari said...

lol NB, I am always guaranteed a laugh everytime I visit.I saw that bat txt/joke somewhere b4 and didnt think it was funny sha.

I do agree naija guys have the confidence advantage. Kudos to them.

u and nigerican, what are the both of you up to?

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 9:02:00 PM, Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

I think it is an individual thing sha. I mean, I have never dated a non-Nigerian, and neither do I intend to do so @ any time, but I have Naija friends that date Non Nigerians. In fact, I have a close friend who has never dated a Naija guy because 'they are too cocky' and 'not trust-worthy'.

But lemme just say that even though I do not ever intend to date a non-Nigerian, if the right non-Nigerian comes along and sweeps me off my feet, then I'm game. Even if he's white sef.

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 10:36:00 PM, Anonymous Borishade must go ! said...

Pls visit www.petition.com/borisha and sign the online petition against the Nigerian aviation minister.

Pls spread the word!

Thanks!

 
At Wednesday, November 01, 2006 11:29:00 PM, Blogger adundudu said...

Nice blog, I just discovered it today. This Naija/non-Naija thing don tire me abeg. If they can't live with it/us they should all jump into the lagoon. As for me...who no know go know, when time don come go know.

 
At Thursday, November 02, 2006 12:13:00 AM, Blogger Nigerican said...

@ naijabloke- I will :).
@Mari- Such a nosy Nigerian girl ;).

 
At Thursday, November 02, 2006 5:01:00 AM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

NB, Ope o!!! You updated your blog!!!

That bat joke is just wrong!

Just cos of the way I am, it is easiest to date a Nigerian man... but sometimes, I think, why not try something different. And it is true, some Nigerian guys I know have dated girls of different nationalities, they don't even play. LOL!!!

That 419er in London story is FUNNY! It happens here all the time... ther was a show exposing Nigerians and credit card fraud here sometime last year.

Take care NB

 
At Thursday, November 02, 2006 11:11:00 AM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@Azuka .. u be winch ..how u take know that na same mama born us?..LOL

@Mari ..na u sabi ..Gbeborun ..LOL

@Vera ..Go vera ..am rooting for Naija guys ni o..LOL

@Borishade must go .. which one concern u with Borishade ..why u no start a Obasanjo must go petition.. Nigerians ..we always want to use someone as a scape goat,while the main goat sits there and grin ..

@Adundudu ..thx for stopping by ..will check ur blog out too..

@Buki ..Iya Ijebu fun ra e ..am with u jere ..Naija guys all the way baby .. the bat joke ..hmm .. I actually thot of replying the fool but decided to let it go..

 
At Thursday, November 02, 2006 3:12:00 PM, Blogger Beautifully Human said...

no matter what people say when it comes down to the crunch most people would preferably want to end up with a fellow naija guy/girl. a friend of mine once commented that she would rather be with someone who understood that when she says stuff like 'I dont blame you' it really doesnt mean that you are blameless, and someone with whom she can watch a naija movie who would get the jokes, etc. and I agree with her jare.
that bat joke is so bad, its not even funny but I still laughed sha. lol!lmao @ the ijaw man joke!!

 
At Friday, November 03, 2006 8:57:00 AM, Blogger Mari said...

@NB and Nigeriacan: Dont worry I'll figure it out.

 
At Friday, November 03, 2006 9:04:00 AM, Blogger Biodun said...

ha ha, those jokes were killers man, lol,
yeah I heard about that 2, I think naija guys r bold n they can chat up almost any chick, which isnt the case with other africans, na them sabi, I love my naija guy any day all day jere!

 
At Friday, November 03, 2006 3:51:00 PM, Blogger Calabar Gal said...

Naija Peeps are generally confident. The thing is that we Naija gals have assessed our Naija boys ans can confidently say that "they are up to standard". Other African girls have noticed and are jumping wagon. Not that I blame them but if the guys from other African countries are not confident, charismatic or bold enough to look us naija babes in the eye and chat to us babes, then its good riddance and they shouldnt be heard to complain cos they havent made themselves "up to the standard" we are used to. (smile) Hope I dont get crucified for this comment. LOL

 
At Friday, November 03, 2006 6:13:00 PM, Blogger ABBEY said...

lol...ur ijaw man talk is just hilarious...I could actually here one of them in my head as i read it. where are u from sef? warri, port-harcourt or lagos or the privileged ijebus?

 
At Saturday, November 04, 2006 3:26:00 AM, Anonymous Teva said...

I agree with those guys, if some nambian or zimbabwe bro walked up to me right now...he'd get the washin' of his life!
Plus, they're not smooth! Naija guys are raised with honey dripping tongues...[i lie?]
Tell that yeye boy wey send the text say na im be bat o!Im head wey be like godzilla pikin!! Nonesense!!!

LOL@ Omoburukutu, me sef need water...

 
At Saturday, November 04, 2006 1:00:00 PM, Blogger Belle said...

they're just haters 'jare.

 
At Saturday, November 04, 2006 5:27:00 PM, Blogger babe said...

men...naija people and their 419.....I almost died when I read YOUNG MONEY CHASING AFRICAN...LOL...absoutely love it....have a great week!

 
At Sunday, November 05, 2006 6:39:00 AM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

@Beautifully.. very funny..LOL
@Mari .. let us know when u do dear.

@Biodun ... nice to know someone still luv us jere ..LOL

@Calabar ... LOL ..I guess they r scared of u guys ni o.

@Abbey ... priviledged ijebu ko ..LOL .. am from Ilesha,but stayed in Ibadan and lagos then worked in Port harcourt for 2 yrs.

@Teva ...very funny ...wetin u dey do that u need water o?

@Belle ..LOL

@Babe ..where have u been?

 
At Sunday, November 05, 2006 12:31:00 PM, Blogger Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao.. I DIE!!! this is too too funny. the jokes.. a roling stone... na person push am!.. even the 419 guy self.. that's hilarious

hmm.. now about the nigerian thing.. i agree i have tons of non-naija guyfriends and they find naija babes have some sort of aloofness(well, usually!)... naija babes usually have this air that almost anybody is never really good enough esp not a 'foreigner'.. naija guys get sweet mouth and sabi razzle babes.. and naija girls are used to that charisma... so other dudes 'without that' usually aren't up to par for them.. but that is a bit generalistic cos some naija babes (like myself.. have dated outside and found it to be quite alright.. lol... if not better? lmao... i know say i go hear wiim for that one!!!)just kidding.. NAIJA GUYS ROCK.. and A LOT OF OTHER DUDES CAN"T COMPETE!!

 
At Monday, November 06, 2006 11:04:00 PM, Blogger RJ said...

OMG! I just texted that bat joke to some friends...thats classic. Nice one.
The whole Naija boy thing is true to some extent, naija boys have guts working for them if nothing else. I think the idea is to cast their net way out there and see which fish gets the bait.
Nigerian girls have a sterotype too, not the aloof one (even though some are), but the one where Nigerian girls are the best and they know how to treat their man and all that ish. I know this Equitorial Guinea guy that wont date anyone but a Nigerian girl, he goes on and on about how the Nigerian boys are always possesive with their girls and try to hide them from every other guy (his exact words) I get tired of hearing it...

 
At Tuesday, November 07, 2006 3:39:00 PM, Blogger The Life of a Stranger called me said...

COME NB is this how to show us you are back. Biko pls abeg you - update your blog - imediately - my friend.

 
At Tuesday, November 07, 2006 6:40:00 PM, Blogger Omoba said...

ok, i just stumbled on here from like a million other blogs ...howeva, I'm stealing ur Ijaw man yarns for my blog ...that was FUNNY!

 
At Tuesday, November 07, 2006 9:31:00 PM, Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

NaijaBloke, before I close my eye and open it, this your blog better be updated oh. Wetin sef? Don't make me come there and panel beat you. Don't vex me o!

 
At Wednesday, November 08, 2006 3:17:00 PM, Blogger yankeenaijachick said...

You are kinda right about the other african guys hating on we naija guys. I can imagine, l was onced in that kinda case senario.......they think we nigerians are all that proud and yes we are proud of who we are.

 
At Wednesday, November 08, 2006 3:19:00 PM, Blogger Nigerican said...

U've gone incogNEGRO on me again huh.Anywho hope u're getting a 4 day weekend like me so u can update u're blog :), have a good rest of the week.

 
At Wednesday, November 08, 2006 3:20:00 PM, Blogger Nigerican said...

sorry i meant 3 day weekend *oops* (i wish 4 )

 
At Friday, November 17, 2006 12:49:00 PM, Blogger omo naija said...

i think its a cultural thing. Be confident but the naija big girl big boy thing can get annoying. some people act as if they are too much. They act as i they dont poo in the toilet like the rest of us. But we all no everyone must bow to that king!!!

 
At Monday, December 04, 2006 9:03:00 AM, Blogger baba ijesha said...

una all talk well o, but does anyone really think naija babes are really fond of non naija babes as well?...a friend of mine was complaing the other day that there's no good naija bobo anymore because they've all been snatched by all those "omo oni idi nla" from east and south africa...but na naija babes dey spoil their own show o.because their iyanga dey too much sometimes and really those other african boys shouldn't complain cause we get the same wahala with them...you say hello to a naija babe and the response would be "who you be?, you get motor?, mortgage? renting? inheritance?"...but say hello to another african babe and it's when do you want to meet my mom!!

 
At Wednesday, December 13, 2006 11:50:00 AM, Blogger Nilla said...

Late comment sha...but LOL @ the omoburukutu story.
I agree with ONB's analysis of the Nigeria thingy. Naija guys are very good at sweet talking.

 
At Wednesday, October 24, 2007 9:37:00 AM, Anonymous tasha said...

...Nice...Very funny. And yeah...why do some people spell "God" with a lowercase 'g'

 
At Friday, November 02, 2007 5:07:00 PM, Blogger Queen of My Castle said...

First time here. Nice blog.

I must agree that Nigerian men have a very sexy confidence about themselves,and I agree with Teva, you guys MUST be born with honey dripping tongues. You guys are giving the American men competition like no one else. This coming from an All American girl here. LOL

 
At Friday, November 02, 2007 5:08:00 PM, Blogger Queen of My Castle said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At Tuesday, November 27, 2007 11:12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

see Najite at wwww.najite.blogspot.com

 
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At Monday, February 08, 2010 4:22:00 PM, Blogger DaughteroftheLord said...

Well, I do believe we are all the same. Sometimes people will react to what we feed them and we just have people who are going to be themselves no matter what. I am a christian and I did not appreciate that bat joke at all! Next thing you know they will do a live prayer to satan as a joke at the next awards, oops that actually already happened! I thought the story was funny as heck 419. I am not from Nigerian. I have noticed how nigerians all over seem to be a bit too fond of their country, no harm in that as long as it's not stepping on anybody's toes. I myself am not too patriotic because I was born in my African country but left when I was very young so I don't have that many roots there, i guess you can say i was lost but Jesus found me! In my BC days I never dated a nigerian, I did hangout with one, he was much older and very nice to me but we never slept together not that he did not want to but he was waiting for me to give the go-ahead which never came

 
At Wednesday, March 31, 2010 3:03:00 AM, Blogger evision said...

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