Hey folks,whatz going down on here I have been amiss for a minute.I really don't have anything going on right now except u guys want me to bore u with my work which is a little bit killing right now 'cos am working with some "skulls"(blockheads) who call themselves consultants and the "mammal"(dimwit) that I unfortunately got as a project manager is not helping matters as well.

Anyway I just saw this video online and decided to share it with u guys..just make sure u watch it till the end o,cos they might be the next Tony Tetula...



I saw this picture and remember what one of my very good friend was discussing with me about how atimes u don't understand what u actually did with money and before u know it, u have one expense to settle when u actually thought u have some left over money.

Anyway lemme leave u guys with a lil dose of my jokes for the week.This is for you peeps that always have some ready made lie when u need to take time off work ...

A company decided to come out with there own set of rules

SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none.

DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

You guys have a lovely rest of the week and a nice weekend

Awesome God

Howdy folks,I know it's been a minute.Work has been a little busy that all I want to do when I get home is just get in bed,watch TV and sleep off,but God has been good.

I sat down to update my blog and nuthn really came to my head to write except that NEPA struck lastnite and power in my little abode was switched off for like an hr and it actually looked like for ever,cos you need to know how hot it has been getting down here.

Anyway going back to the title of my post.The topic on TERC last friday was about praising God cos he is the only one that is worthy of praises.People actually praise God in different ways,we have people that can actually praise God with their voice,some with their talents of playing musical instruments and some by actually writing the songs.

When I started writing this post and I was trying to get a title for the post,I remembered one of my best songs till date and which I still sing to praise God's name."AWESOME GOD" and I also remembered this song playing on my site which is by Tosin titled "ARUGBOOJO"(I am still trying to get the translation for that)Tosin stays in Houston,Tx and she has an album out Titled "Uproot All" I can send you a couple of her songs if you want.Just leave your email address.



Awesome God

Well lemme leave you with my weekly jokes

If only
Two YORUBA WOMEN were waiting at the Gate OF HEAVEN and struck up a conversation. First WOMAN says "How did you die?" Second says "I froze to death". First WOMAN says "Must have been awful." Second WOMAN says "How did you die?" First WOMAN says "I had a heart attack, I knew my husband was being unfaithful so I came home unexpectedly one day and rushed to the bedroom and found my husband alone reading. I rushed to the basement and nobody was hiding there, I rushed to the attic and still no one, and after all that rushing around I had a heart attack and died." Second WOMAN says, "If only you'd looked in the freezer we'd both still be alive.. can u imagine

Confidence and Confidential
Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential

WHY???

This post was inspired by this song playing titled WHY by Will Smith.I was listening to the song while driving right now and actually got to listen to the lyrics and I realize that there will always be the question WHY???

Why did I just put 1100miles on my car this past weekend?

Why do I have to almost have a brain hemorrhage to do my job?

Why does Uncle Sam have to keep nipping me this much on my paycheck?

Why is it that everything that was said in a meeting I just had sounded like another language?

Why do the prices of things never go down but up except during sales and I know they are still getting me with the sales?

Why does the cost of labor to replace a part in my car 3 times more than the price of the part itself? (I miss Kabiru in Naija)

Why do I have to first fly to DC or North Carolina from Tampa before flying to Texas?

Why is it that I am not inheriting a huge amount of something from somebody, someone, everybody, anybody? Scream

Why do people have to suffer this much in Africa?

Why do we always get dumb asses as Presidents in Naija?

Why is it that the qualification to run for office especially the President of Naija be Standard VI?

Why do most girls like doggy style?

Why do women enjoy their orgasms more when they do have it than men?

Why do I feel the media is not really helping the security of this nation with some of their broadcasts?

Why was I given a 2hr wait at a restaurant in Orlando lastnite?

Why does this cold refreshing crush taste so good?

YOU ALSO NEED TO WATCH AND LISTEN TO THE VIDEO ON THE RIGHT TITLED HOLY GHOST FIRE BY RESONANCE.AM LOVING THE SONG SHA.

Let me leave you guys with a joke for the week.

Stand Up For The Little Guy!

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.

The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea!"

The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so. But he thinks for awhile and thinks, " Why shouldn't I be at the bar if I want to?

"He walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears!

Have a nice weekend folks