Nuthn Dey Pa

Eyin peeps mi,werin dey? Am sure a lot of people will be wondering what happened to this bombastic element of a person,well na my fault a little sha.Na jeje work siddon wey I go wake am make we play,although the play na good experience o,but my butt is getting kicked big time.Anyway don't let me bore you with my rantings.

Nuthn has been really going on with me for a while o,just trying to deal with work and reading at the same time for some exams.Men I just realized that reading for an exam after you've stopped for a while is a binch,cos I have been reading for one exam like that and it has been like putting water in a basket y'all.Atimes I just stare at a page and trying to figure out what I need to do and sometimes I wonder what was on the page that I just finished reading.I decided to start going to the bookstore(Barnes & Noble) to read o,and the starbucks store inside the bookstore no gree me read o.The smell of the cakes,cookies etc was just distracting person coupled with the kain cold air that was blowing from the air condition unit in that bookstore.

I saw a picture that I just had to share with you guys.I dan tire for all this evolution sef.You can imagine this oyinbo people had to always try and outdo themselves sha ...


Well lemme just leave you guys with some jokes for the road like I always do.

Things You Shouldn't Ask Your Mother...

Seven year old Susie approached her mother one morning and asked, "Mommie how old are you?" To which her mother responded, "Now Susie, that is not a question you should ask a woman."

Susie then replied, "Well, how much do you weigh?" Once again her mother said, "Susie that is another question you never ask a woman."

Perplexed, Susie was sitting on the steps when her best friend eight year old Anna came by. "Why so sad?" Anna asked. Susie replied, "I asked my mother how old she was, and how much she weighed, but she wouldn't tell me."

Immediately, the ever worldly Anna put her hands on her hips, lilted to one side and advised Susie to get her mother's drivers license out of her purse and she could get all the answers.

Triumphantly, Susie marched into the kitchen where her mother was preparing dinner and announced, "I saw your driver's license, and know you are 35 years old." She continued with, "And I know you weigh 135 pounds."

Susie's mother sighed and admitted to her age and weight.

Finally Susie exclaimed, "And...I know why you and Daddy got a divorce." Puzzled by this remark her mother asked, "How do you know this?"

Susie waved the license in the air, and replied:

"It says right here you got an "F" in sex!!"

I also got this facts of life from a friend too..

Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your Tongue
Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.
Fact 3: Fact 1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha..................
Fact 4: Now u are laughing !!! bcoz u became a fool !!!
Fact 5: you want to fool ur friends also..

Got to sign out here folks,I found these 2 songs by P-Square songs(Mako Fiesta and Kolo) and am feeling them right now.Just leave your email address if you want me to send you any of the songs that I have posted on here.

Reminisces

Am sorry guys that I have not updated in a while,it's just been a lil' busy for ur guy down here o.Work is really kicking my butt that when I have a me time like this,na like public holiday in naija o.All I just want to do is just lay on the bed sipping on some some,watching movies and staring at my laptop from a distance.

Guys you need to listen to the 1st song I have playing on here titled "Naija Girls",dude is funny with the lyrics.Am still trying to find out who sang the song o.The second song is titled Bete Bete by Raghav...The guy is I heard the guy was big in Europe in 2005..The songs are part of a mix CD I got on my last trip to Naija.

Anyway back to the title of my post today,I called "Iya Ibeji" (thatz what I call my mum whenever am trying to report any of my siblings to her) and asked her what she got planned for my dad's remembrance which is coming up and she said all she needs us to do is fast and thank God for his favors,mercies and grace over the years.I lost my dad when I was 12yrs old and it was pretty tough when it happened cos I was very close to my dad although I got a heap load of whoopings on top the paddy paddy with the man.

I remembered when I was in primary school and I was feeling like a "G".Normally when all those uncles,aunties and family friends come and they give us money then,my mum bought us a piggy bang to save the money in.So there was this time during one of the holidays that I devised a way to get money out of the piggy bank with a stick of broom cos normally you have to break the thing to be able to get the money out.So yours truly got 5Naira out of the piggy bank and declared for my homies on my street o,enuff smarties,trebor,fan ice ,kulikuli,puff puff ati bebe lo.Well na so ur guy become bobo nice to all the homies and chikitas on my street that day o and ur guy was really feeling cool until katakata burst when my mum came back from work and the first news she heard for the day from my jealous sisters was how urs truly was doing baba alaye for all the homies in the area with money I got from my piggy bank.

The normal protocol then was when you did something wrong,my mum will talk to you about it and feed you in readiness for my dad.When he comes back from work,he first of all eat and its like you are been subjected to a torture,cos he will take his time to eat and rest well and all the while you are in your room waiting to hear him shout your name from the living room.Well on this particular day my dad called me into the living room to decide my fate.So the judgement normally start with you explaining why you did what you did and you will be the one to give judgement on yourself as well by deciding if what you did warrants a whooping.Mehn reflecting back on those days atimes makes me wonder what was going on in my dad's head,why he would make you explain why you did what you did and to decide if you deserve a whooping and woe betide you if you pass any wrong judgement.Well the night ended up with my dad chasing me all over the living room trying to corner me and I was feeling like James Bond diving over couches and tables until finally I got tired.Hmmmmm.... those were the days ...I guess thatz part of what made a lot of us what we are today.

Gosh I need to go to bed o .it is 11.40pm here ......

I got this from my brother just today and it actually reminded me of one of my smart mouthed cousin.

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance
repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.
The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at
the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."


Am sleeping off already ...Have a nice week guys!

Gengen

I am pretty sure you saw the title of this post and you are like,what the heck is this guy talking about again.Well it is the title of the song playing on my blog now by "Sound Sultan".I actually wanted to put "I go yarn" by Eldee before but I decided to put this song instead.You need to listen to the lyrics of this song.

I have been MIA cos the weekdays has been a lil' busy for moi and the past 2 weekends as been a little bit occupied as well.

I noticed that the guy's face on the video on my last post scared a couple of people from watching the video..lol ...no be the guy's fault now.Like the saying goes "monkey no fine but hin mummy like am". Biko close ya eyes and listen to the video then ...lol.

Anyway moving I had to go to Indianapolis for a wedding this past weekend and so I had to fly to Chicago on Friday and drove down with my friend that stays in Chicago on Saturday.The wedding was fun coupled with getting to see a lot of friends that I have not seen in like 10 to 12yrs and I also ran into an high school mate that I have not seen since our last day in high school.

I wonder if I will be able to survive if I by any sort of mistake find myself in that area,cos the whole of Indiana is country y'all.The wedding party ended around 1am and we shifted the after party to the groom's house which we decided to pack up around 5am.Drove back to Chicago on Sunday and left for my base on Monday morning,but not after I missed my 6.20m flight cos of the long security line caused by the spring breakers.That was my past weekend in a nutshell,hope you guys had fun as well.

If you want to understand what Calabargirl has been saying about how tasty 404 is check out this story

Well I got this email from my brother and decided to share it with you guys cos I actually got something from it.

"Have you ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do.

After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away.

The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars . "What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying,

"Please send us an itemized bill." The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ...............$ 2.00

Knowing where to tap .................$ 9,998.00

GRAND TOTAL ... ..............................$10,000.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference. I pray GOD to always give us the insight to know WHERE TO TAP whenever we are faced with the dangers and tribulations associated with the world of today.

Well if you sort of ran out of ink in your printer you can always make a photocopy of your screen


Well got to leave you a joke for the weekend ..

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, when then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Adios ma peeps and make sure you listen to the song playing o...Have a lovely weekend.