Na Wah For Us O

Hey ma peeps,I have been AWOL for a minute.Studying and work has been kinda crazy for like the past 3-4weeks,but I thank God for his grace and mercies.

Was in Chicago over the past weekend and it was fun,got to see a couple of friends that I have not seen in a while and ended up at Zambia;s independence party on Saturday.Got to talk to a couple of guys from Zambia,Kenya,Botswana and Zimbabwe and found out a lot about how they feel about Naija guys.Do you know a big part of guys from other parts of Africa actually despise Naija guys.Well from talking to some of them I found out that their contemptuous feeling towards Naija guys is from Naija guys dating anything that runs around in skirts and that most of the other African countries can't really get to date Naija chics.

U might look at it like so what has that got to do with loathing Naija guys o,cos that was the same question I ask them as well.After arguing with a couple of them,I found out that it actually has to do with Naija guys confidence in been able to talk to and date any African chic while most Naija chics look at some other African brothers like crazy when they try talking to them.(Give it up for Naija chics and their class and aloofness).

I was almost left there by my friend cos I was arguing with this guys about the whole issue.I tried making them realise that it's an individual thing to be able to talk to and date any chic that you want,but none of them saw reason with me o.On the contrary,I later started thinking about the whole issue and came up with a couple of questions on the issue.

Are we like that in Nigeria cos we are too exposed,educated,beautiful,handsome,too dey denge pose,culture,family values etc or that is just the way we are?

So I will like to hear your opinions about this issue,if it is right about Naija guys,Naija chics and why we are like that.

I got this text from one of my collegues today and was like WTF!!!!

"A Black baby was given wings by "god".... the baby asked "does this mean am an angel" "god" laughed and said "naw nigga u a bat" Happy halloween ....!

This was exactly how he wrote the text ... notice I the "god" is different from "God" .This wackahead is from pakistan o.. I just did not bother to reply the text.

Check out this story

Dis story is about a guy called blah blah blah-Omoburukutu. This
story had me in stitches! You gotta read it!...

I did not come to England to take pictures of Big Ben or tour
London Bridge . I just wanted to get paid and get even with those
colonials. With a name like Ogundele Kayode Omobrukutu, I could not
even buy a bus pass let alone open a bank account. This is my
story....

It took me 6 months to study the system, but I still could not
figure out my squares and circus's. I could not travel from
Leicester Circus to Oxford Square without getting lost. I was a
YMCA (Young Money Chasing African) when I joined the FRAUD(Fine
Rich Africans United in Deals).

It took me 3 months to attain my ACCA (Advanced Certificate for
Criminal Africans) and I needed an MBA (Major Bank Account) to do
my first HND (Heavy Nigerian Deal).

I arranged to meet this guy at Animal and Something, I mean
Elephant and Castle. We were suppose to meet at 10.00am. I got
there at 11.30am and he turned up at 1.30pm. He pulled up in a
Mercedes 500SL with a private number plate - 419 ADE.

He was a definite Nigerian, he had it all - leather jacket in
summer, air condition on full blast with his roof and windows down
whilst smoking cigar and choking on his smoke just to impress me.
Being a fellow Nigerian I was more than impressed.

He introduced himself as Adepujo Kunle Babatunde and asked me to
call him Ade or Babs. He spoke with a strong Nigerian accent but he
messed the whole language up by slanging - he sounded like a
Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French.

I had not been in the country for long but I could tell that Omo(my
man) was trying hard to be British. After hanging with Ade for
about 2 months I became an OBE (Opportunist Bank Employee) and
specialised in BBC (Breaking Bank Codes).

Money was flowing and I wanted more so I did my PhD (Passport
Handling Degree) and became an FBI (Fraudster Bringing Immigrants).

My status changed drastically...., I had a BMW 328is convertible
and a Porsche 911 with a private plate - 911 OMO and living in a
council flat and signing on.

I went to Moonlighting every Friday and drank champagne and danced
to music supplied by DJ Pace and Skills.

I became foolish - I remember one night I spent over a 1000 pounds
on just champagne at the club and had no money for petrol so I
walked home.

My downfall.... Greed and selfishness inevitably led to my downfall

I got involved with a CIA (Cash Investing Agent) and we did a
couple of GMTs (Good Money Transfers) but he later turned out to be
a CID (Cop in Disguise). I was under surveillance and I did not
even know.

I left the NHS (Nigerian Housing Scheme) early that morning with
about 12 different cheque books to go and do my business. They
followed me unto the high road and it was then that it hit me that
something was wrong.

I could not leave all that evidence in my car so I started chewing
my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over

They read me my rights and all that crap and in the end all I could
say was - OGA, water please!

On A Naija tip.....
This is strictly Ijaw man talk for some good laugh

A rolling stone –Na person push am
A stitch in time – dey avoid further tear tear
Birds of the same feather – Na de same mama born dem
One good turn – Na power steering be that
A friend in need- na long throat kill am
A bird in hand- Na chops be that

THE FOUR MEME

Well I had to do this cos I got tagged by some teachers that are in the wrong professions and love giving assignments.Anyway who am I kidding,I dont really have time to type a post so I just decided to do this instead.

Chei can you imagine what happened to me lastnite.I was in Barnes and Noble battling to keep some data extraction jargons in my brain and I looked up only to see this gay dude smiling and winking at me.You need to see the kain "you dan dey kolo" look that I threw across the room to him,the look must have slapped the smiling and winking off his face.

The Fours Meme Only God knows what this is sef


FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. System Administrator (with the 1st Internet Service Provider in Nigeria)
2. Stocker @Target(was fired for sleeping for over 3hrs in my car during a 1hr lunch)
3. Account Resolution Specialist
4. Personal Banker

FOUR JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. CEO for Microsoft
2. CEO for Walmart
3. Fronting for Nigeria's President or a Governor.
4. Wolverine cos hez indestructible

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Lord of the Rings baby (The Triology).bought the 3 DVDS
2. Face Off
3. The Gladiators
4. X-men ..

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Ibadan, Nigeria
2. Port Harcourt, Nigeria
3. Kingwood, Tx
4. Houston, Tx

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Fashion House
2. Smallville
3. CSI (All the Franchises)
4. Charmed

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. ORLANDO,FL, USA
2. LAS VEGAS,NV, USA
3. LONDON, UK
4. TORONTO, CANADA

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. My Fav Blogs (xxxxx.blogspot.com, xxxx = multiple)
2. My email accounts(Gmail,Yahoo,Hotmail)
3. All the News website (CNN,BBC,NigeriaNews etc)
4. www.sdn.sap.com

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Iyan with any Nigeria soup-Egusi,Efo,Banga,Okasi,Afang etc
2. Rice with cornedbeef stew(I make a wicked cornedbeef stew)
3. Peppersoup,Suya and Kilishi
4. Any other food as long as I eat it

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Any seafood except Fish and shrimps
2. Sushi
3. Some Veggies (Mushrooms,Brocolli etc)
4. I have a long list of food I dont eat!

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Suya or Kilishi
2. Iyan and Native soup with periwinkles from Port Harcourt
3. Blue house's Amala with Ewedu in Ibadan
4. My mum's food

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A King size Bed
2. TV
3. Shoes and books all over the floor
4. My laptop on the bed and computers on the floor

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. Loads more space
2. LCD hanging on the wall (still going to get that)
3. A refridgerator so that I dont have to go to the Kitchen
4. A remote control for every damn thing in the room

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. A boxers
2. A V-neck T-shirt
3. Covered with my comforter
4. My Brithday suit

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In Bed Watching TV and not going to work today
2. On vacation
3. Sleeping
4. Just not at work

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Duh
2. Duh!
3. Duh!!
4. Duh!!!

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. God
2. Obasanjo(In the US cos he wont be able to do anything to me for lambasting is stupid and greedy ass)
3. Bill Gates(to see if I can get a piece of the microsoft cake)
4. My future wife and 2 kids

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. Why cant this rubbish oyinbo ppl just invent a way to get this own syllabus in your head without reading it.
2. Is it possible to have a job I love TODAY???
3. I need to get my ass off this bed and go to work
4. Why am I stressing msyelf doing this Meme?

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. My Family and Friends
2. My laptop
3. My cellphone
4. Music, Books and Movies

FOUR FAVOURITE QUOTES/EXPRESSIONS
1. Tough times never last but Tough people do(1st Christian book I ever read)
2. You reap what you sow
3 Cleaniless is next to Godliness
4. Damn!! Karma is a B***H!!!

As you know I have to leave you guys with a joke.Got this from one of my cousins.

God Bless Italians

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives"

"Hey, coo la down lady," said the man.
"Who isa talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi'."

I bet $100 that you're gonna read this again and get ya freaking minds outta the gutter.

Have a nice weekend Folks

A-Z Of Me,Myself And I -(De La Soul)

Whatz up my peeps? I actually wanted to put up a post about short people,but I guess that will be my next post.

Am off to Dallas 2nite for a family friend's older brother's 40th birthday tomorrow.So thatz like 4hrs drive right there.

I decided to put up my A-Z tag that Taureanminx tagged me with a couple of weeks ago.


Accent Depends on who am talking to,people at work atimes ask me if I have lived in London before.
Booze Beer and Liquor.
Chore I hate Ironing so Dry cleaners r cleaning up scather
Dogs/Cats Dogs don'tdont have any yet.
Essential Electronics Laptop,Cellphone and TV
Favourite perfume Signature by Kenneth Cole
Gold/silver Silver(White Gold)Had a chain on for like 6yrs now and it's still the same colour,so it aint fake babyyyy
Hometown Ilesha,Osun State Nigeria
Insomnia Dont know abt any sha.Lemme know if u do.
Job title IT ..........
Kids None that I know of
Living arrangements Modern
Most admired trait Sense of humour,Eyes and looks.
Number of sexual partners Hmmmm........What u know abt that!!!
Overnight hospital stays None.
Phobia Stuck in a confined place ..so not planning to go to Jail ever
Quote "Everybody is not the same,so don't expect what you give back from anybody,just do what you have to do as long as it makes you happy"
Religion Christian:Anglican/Methodist born, pentecostal worshipper.
Siblings - One Older Brother,Twin younger sisters - beauties and one Younger Brother
Time I usually awake Mon-Fri for work ..8am to 9am Sat-Sun ..Anytime
Unusual talent Am kind of like a Psychic,but nobody believes me ..LOL and best of all ... am unpredictable ..
Vegetable I refuse to eat A lot ..Mushroom,Brocolli,Spinach from Lubys .......
Worst habit Multitasking, Procastinating
X-rays One .. at my last job,one fool contracted Tuberculossis from only God knows and the State of Texas had to subject everybody to a TB test
Yummy foods I make Everything as long as I eat the food
Zodiac sign Capricorn Babyyyyyy!!!!.Jan 19th
I'm tagging everybody and if you aint a blogger, just post it in my comments as anonymous or else ...remember it's Friday the 13th


Lemme give you a joke for the weekend

There were 2 friends and they went drinking one evening,so on their way walking back,they stop to pee on the side of the road.So friend A looked up and was like WOW!!! ..look at that big soccer ball up in the sky,DAMN!!! thatz a big ass soccer ball up there.His friend(Friend B) looked up and started laughing and said,seems you as still as dumb as you were in high school.That is a big 120Watts bulb that was just turned on by someone that you are calling a soccerball.
The 2 friends started arguing back and forth and almost started fighting sef and lo and behold they heard someone coming down the road whistling to Sunny Ade's song "Sweet Banana".

So they called the 3rd guy and told him about the whole issue and their argument and proceed to ask the guy what he thinks.

The 3rd guy looked up and said, Hmmmmmm...... (he looked confused cos he kept staring) and he finally said, "guys, am as confused as you guys are cos I dont live around this area".

Hope you know what they were looking at? "THE MOON"

So which one of the guys is the biggest drunk outta the 3 guys?

You guys have a lovely weekend cos ama try to,taking a break from reading to have fun in Dallas and will be back to reading on Sunday

BLOGNIVERSARY!!!

I just realized I started my blog exactly 1yr ago.Cant believe it's already a year,seems like I just started.

I remembered that faithful day at work,bored as hell and I decided to start doing a random search on google and I got directed to blogsville by mistake,cos I cant even remember what I searched for.I read a couple of blogs and decided to start my own blog that same day.You can view my first post HERE ,which by the way did not get a comment till June,2006.

My second post was on the 5th of May,2006,followed by my third post on 16th of May,2006 and that was when I got my first comment on my blog,which was by the one and only Original Iya Ijebu turned Tushed Lagos Girl.Buki thanks for starting the long string of comments on my blog and I also thank everybody that has visited my blog and has been leaving comments,appreciate it.

Like the saying goes "You meet people everyday and everywhere you go,but you only remember the ones that made an impact somewhat or somehow within you".I have learnt a lot of things from people I met through this blog which has helped me one way or the other to deal with life and some other aspects of life.From people sharing their experiences about issues,events etc has helped in a way or two and also always make me give thanks in all situations that I find myself.I just learnt how to cook Okassi and Ogbonna soup from blog friends.

Miguel I threw it down like I promise you o,this women aint got nuthn on us when it comes to holding t down in the Kitchen.I bet Ironchef is getting scared of getting a run for his money.LOL.



Check out my Okassi soup




Check out the Okassi soup with it;s soulmate,pounded yam



I really appreciate everybody that has visited my blog,with or without leaving a comment,cos your comments make me look forward to check my blog everytime and most of them actually make me laugh when am even in a bad mood.

Anyway the party is going down @ "CLUB DRINK@HOME"address is "25 BUY YA OWN BEER RD, YAOWNCHOPS TX 00419" with "DJ HOPE U HAVE A RADIO" in da house ....LOL

Wanted to blog about something else but I guess I needed to write something about my blogniversary.Anyway before I forget,if you guys did not follow the Latest "Survivor Nigeria" AKA "GUILDER ULTIMATE SEARCH" that just ended,my guy Hector Jobarteh won the money and the Car prize.

You guys have a wonderful rest of the week and here is a joke for you guys

Funny

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides he will pick the least painful to spend his eternity. He goes to a German hell and asks, what do they do here? He is told, first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the U.S. and Russian hell and many others. He discovers that they are similar to the German hell.

Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, What do they do here?
He is told, first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and they then lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. But that is really the same as all the other hells, so why are there so many people waiting to get in? asks the man.

Because there is never electricity, so the chair does not work. The nails were paid for in naira but never supplied because of shortage of raw materials, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant so, he comes in signs the time and goes back home for private business.

Fathers Knows Best

A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair."

To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

GistIII

I did not know people like gist this much o,mehn everytime I read a comment on the last post I just smile and you guys comments always make my day a lil' bit enjoyable at work.I actually tried to put up this post lastnite and the damn thing disappeared after I had typed like 20 lines,I was so pissed that I just went to bed.

I do apologise for keeping you guys in limbo.Work is kicking my butt coupled with reading for some exams that am trying to take,but I know all is well in Jesus name.

Anyway lemme continue with the gist that started the riot on my comment page.LOL

I got back to KA's house and AF was already there and KA actually thought she was there to see me,cos TA was not home all the while.KA still at this point does not know what is happening,so I sat down with everybody to watch the movie that everybody was watching and she just kept looking at me.(She later told me she was trying to read the expressions on my face).

KA decided we should go and eat out,cos I told him i was kinda feeling hungry.There is this joint in Ibadan called "Iya Ope",mehn the woman sells the meanest rice and stew I have ever had.So KA and his Girlfriend got in my car and I was about to start the car when KA grabbed the car keys from me and ask where AF is.I told him I will explain everything to him on our way,cos I know KA could be a lil' crazy atimes.Well KA refused to go anywhere till I told him everything from when I first dropped her off.KA was so angry that he caused a scene and wanted to chase her out of the house,but I had to restrain KA.AF was so embarassed cos KA was asking her about everything right in front of everybody in their house that day.

Like I said in my last post,AF thought I had already told everybody about the whole thing,so that was why she decided to come down there.She actually thought since it is definately going to be over between us,she might as well hang with TA,cos there were some benefits from dating TA(Sugar Daddy).What AF did not know is that I actually broke-up with her that same day I dropped her with her friend off back in June and was just getting some all the while till it lasts.

Anyway I avoided AFs calls for likr 3months cos I know she was scared of talking to me face to face.When we finally got to see each other and talk,AF told me she was so confused and scared of me for not saying anything from the time I dropped her off at the house in June till December and I told her that I decided not to say anything and go along with the ride because she was bold enough to actually ask me to drop her off at her Sugar Daddy's house.

AF still believe that I have not forgiven her till today,but I always tell her I forgave her that same day that I dropped her off at the house.AF is in london now and we talk once in a while.AF is a great girl and beautiful as well,infact this is her picture .

This incident actually made not to trust girls for a long time and the rest of my college days was spent as a full time hit and run man,but I guess I later grew out of it.

A lil' Humour to make you smile

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. (Don't ask why or how, it just happens...)

God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Proverbs From the First Grade...

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here's what the kids came up with:

1. Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
2. Strike while the... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
4. Never underestimate the power of... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
7. No news is... impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust... me.
12. The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
13. An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
14. Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.
15. Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is... not much.
17. Two is company, three's... The Musketeers.
18. None are so blind as... Helen Keller.
19. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
20. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
21. You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
22. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.
23. There is no fool like... Aunt Edie.
24. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose.

Check out my Home Office



Am off to bed now and actually had to struggle to finish typing this post.